A Splash of Humor and a Dash of Asshole

Culinary Boner

Have you ever heard anyone refer to something they’re or an amazing product as a “culinary boner?” What about an awesome meal as “better than sex?” This has to stop! I have eaten great meals at some of the sickest restaurants in the United States and not once have I left wanting to go home and fantasize about that seared foie gras or make love to a fat slab of pork belly. Sex and food in my mind are the greatest things on earth, but they do not belong together at all. So please, next time you smell an earthy black truffle or taste some amazing veal, please refrain from describing it as orgasmic. After all, if eating a meal makes you want to get your rocks off, I think it’s time to either check your relationship or try a diet. Seriously.

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