A Splash of Humor and a Dash of Asshole

Whores in the Kitchen

Kitchen whores. I’m not talking about that college chick who works the host stand and wears shirts way too tight and skirts way too short. And that waitress who everyone knows blew the grill cook in the walk in that one night, not talking about her either. I’m talking about those select few restaurant employees who will do anything if dared to, especially if there are a few bucks on the table. We have all seen the old ” I dare you to eat a whole habanero” or ” I bet you can’t swallow a whole teaspoon of cinnamon.” But things like that are amateur.

Exhibit A:
We pooled our ones together and dared this guy to lick the cutting. Not so bad, right? Before he licked it we butchered 20 pounds o farm raised trout on it. If your not familiar with the product, the skin contains a substance that can only be compared to snot. It is so slimy and sticky, truly a brutal substance. Without missing a beat he licked it from end to end and it didn’t even seem to phase him. No chaser or water, no washing his tongue off in the sink, nothing. What did this enjoyment cost the kitchen crew? Five Bucks.

Exhibit B:
Lazy Sunday afternoon, lunch service is dead,Sous Chef walks in with a ribeye to fabricate. ” Hey Alex (pastry chef), I dare you to drink all the blood out of the bag for 5 bucks,” Does he respond as expected by telling me to fuck off. No. Does he ask for more money. No. He simply responds by saying ” Let me see the 5 bucks.” Ladies and Gentlemen of Hollywood, when your casting the next installment of Twilight or the next season of True Blood, I present Alex Penn.


3 responses

  1. Douglas

    you fucking guys need to get more work done! loved the slayer playing in the background as alex downs the blood. nice work on the blog, cody.

    March 29, 2010 at 10:52 pm

  2. Alex Penn

    Don’t forget, you still owe me a dollar!

    March 29, 2010 at 10:53 pm

  3. Alex Penn

    And I find the word “whore” offensive! I prefer “entrepreneur”.

    March 29, 2010 at 11:14 pm

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