Portland Restaurants vs. The World
Round 1: Service Staff
-French Waiters are proud of their chosen profession
-Los Angeles Waiters are just doing this until they land that big role as an extra in a Burger King commercial
-New York Waiters are content to serve you, as long as they don’t have an audition for a background dancer in the new off Broadway presentation of ” Batman on Ice”
-Portland servers will get to your table after they finish their hemp milk latte and are done talking to their fellow employees about the new non-profit art project they worked on all night while drinking PBR tall boys and smoking American Spirits.
Round 2: Culinary Idols
-The British have Marco Pierre White and Fergus Henderson
-France has Joel Robuchon and Alain Ducasse
-New York has David Chang and Eric Ripert
-Chicago has Grant Achatz and Charlie Trotter
-California has Thomas Keller
-Portland has a chick that ran quite a few restaurants into the ground, and then started a place cooking half assed food for 30 people a night.
Round 3: Iconic Restaurants
-Spain has El Bulli and Arzak
-England has The Fat Duck and St. John
-France has La Maison Troisgros and Robuchon
-New York has Daniel and Le Bernadin
-California has The French Laundry and Spago
-Las Vegas has it all
-Portland has Voodoo Doughnut and Portland City Grill
So, to all of us who call Portland home, let’s take a step back. Let us not glorify our town as a great food city, or a hidden gem in the culinary world. Let’s keep it real and realize that we are just laid back and easily impressed. I’m not saying we have only horrible food and bad restaurants, but we are not on the level that most of you think we are. Our bars are pretty awesome though.