A Splash of Humor and a Dash of Asshole

Are You a Hack in the Kitchen? Take the Quiz.

Have you ever been called a hack by your peers? Did it make you wonder if you really were one? I’ll make finding out very easy for you. Take the time to answer the questions below and tally your score at the end when you are finished.

 

1. Have you ever carried your tongs in your pocket?

1 point for yes      0 points for no

 

2. Have you ever cooled freshly cooked pasta in an ice bath or under cold running water?

1 point for yes     0 points for no

 

3. Do you chop garlic in the robot coupe or food processor?

2 points for yes      0 points for no

 

4. Have you ever used 2 knives at the same time to chop parsley?

3 points for yes      0 points for no

 

5. When steeling your knife, can people not standing very close by hear you?

1 point for yes       0 points for no

 

6. Do you find it easier to season foods by first combining your salt and pepper in the same container?

5 points for yes      0 points for no

 

7. When getting ready to saute a piece of fish, do you start it in a cold pan?

2 points for yes      0 points for no

 

8. When reheating bacon for a burger, do you put in on the grill?

1 point for yes     0 points for no

 

9. If the kitchen is out of disposable gloves, do you feel “icky”?

1 point for yes     0 points for no

 

10. Do you find massive amounts of inspiration from kitchen themed television shows?

3 points for yes     0 points for no

 

11. Do you work the line without an apron?

1 point for yes      0 points for no

 

12. When you look down at your shoes, are they covered in food or sauces?

2 points for yes    0 points for no

 

13. Do you “sand bag” tickets?

2 points for yes    0 points for no

 

14. Do you consider a steam table a reheating device?

1 point for yes     0 points for no

 

15. If you burn something and then scrape off the char, is it okay to sell?

4 points for yes    0 points for no

 

16. When sending out a dish you have cooked, do you ever pray that it doesn’t come back?

1 point for yes     0 points for no

 

17. Do you consider chives and scallions pretty much the same?

10 points for yes    0 points for no

 

18. Have you ever walked into a kitchen for the first day of work and asked “Where can I find the knives?”

5 points for yes      0 points for no

 

19. Do you not understand the difference between a 6th pan and a mixing bowl?

4 points for yes     0 points for no

 

20. Do you have crappy knife skills?

100 points for yes      0 points for no

 

If your score is greater than 0 points you are a hack. I’m sorry, but it’s true.

 

Here are some pictures of our dishwasher shopping in the lost and found drawer to make you feel better.

 

 

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