A Splash of Humor and a Dash of Asshole

Posts tagged “recipes

LOVE…….is not an ingredient











“Love…..is not an ingredient”

You can’t put “love” in any recipe I have ever worked with. People that refer to “love” as the most important ingredient, should not be cooking. They fall into the same category of people that make such ridiculous comments as “this is like an orgasm in my mouth,” or “food is better that sex.” I don’t want anything I cook to be compared to love or sex. It is possible to passionate while cooking a dish or to love creating things in a kitchen, but love is not an actual ingredient. If you are a shitty cook, throwing a little “love” into your dish will not help it.

Cooking as a career is about passion and desire but the actual act of creating food in a kitchen is about technique and ingredients. There actually are not  many “great” cooks in the world. Chemicals and immersion circulators have there place in professional kitchens, but modern innovation will never surpass classical technique. A cook should always be able to pick up a protein, season it accordingly and cook it perfectly in a pan.

Cook WITH “love” but don’t rely on “love” to save your shitty dish.


Chicks………. My Homage to Female Cooks


Respected for her net worth? Yes. Respected for her cooking skills? No.

Respected for her awesome boobies? Yes. Respected for her cooking skills? No

There is no such thing as an average female line cook. They are either complete badasses or pretty much worthless. There have been a few select women that stick out in my mind as being instrumental to what food has become. They have overcome what is often considered a “man’s world,” and made a name for themselves. And those women are:

Alice Waters







Respected for: Shaping west coast cuisine, leading the organic movement, having one of the most amazing restaurants of all time, making people think about what they are eating and where it came from, first woman to ever be named the James Beard Foundations Best Chef in America (1992)

Alumni: Mark Peel (Campanile), Dan Barber (Blue Hill), Judy Rogers (Zuni Cafe), Suzanne Goin (Lucques), Jeremiah Tower (Stars), Paul Bertolli (Fra’ Mani), Jonathan Waxman (Barbuto), Michael Tusk (Quince), April Bloomfield (The Spotted Pig)

Julia Child











Respected for: Encouraging people cook good food at home, making French food approachable, bringing food to television, inspiring so many people

Judy Rodgers











Respected for: Authoring one of the most useful and well written cookbooks of all time, making the simplest of foods elegant, the best roast chicken of all time

Suzanne Goin











Respected for: Bringing Los Angeles back into fine dining, working her employees hard while accepting nothing short of perfection (I was one of them),  being a leader in the fresh/local food movement

Resume: Chez Panisse, Olives, Alain Passard

Elena Arzak








Respected for: Expanding the legacy her father started in Spain, innovative cuisine, running one of the most successful and highly acclaimed  restaurants in Europe, being insanely talented

Resume: La Gavroche, Louis XV, Pierre Gagniere, El Bulli

Nancy Silverton











Respected for: Making the best bread in the world, bringing the bakery back into the spotlight, branching out and bringing artisan style pizza into California cuisine, awesome hair



I have had the opportunity to work with and for some amazing women in my career. They have had an amazing work ethic along with great attention to detail. The funny thing is, the best pastry chef I have ever worked with was a heavy metal loving, semi-alcoholic, unshaven dude.